guess not

well....I guess my blogging wasn't habit forming lol.....dang...thought I was on a roll....life just gets in the way of my blogging sometimes...but I will pat myself on the back for being "better" about blogging.....better than I was before....well, what to update you on....still here...still surviving.....still waiting for Josh to get home! :) The whole household is on the mends...we all were infected with some kind of "bug" and finally after about 3 weeks I think we are on the end of it....my poor girls I felt so bad for them! They started out with the throwing up etc and it has now turned into a cold...Thank Goodness I only got the cold part of it! But I am happy to say we are almost over it! Josh is doing good. Ready to come home more than ever...I think I say that every time lol......

He will probably shoot me for posting these pics but I can't help myself...

it was one of the guy's birthdays and Josh decided to give him a little birthday "dance"....he now is known as "Big Janice" LOL!!!!! He can't say too much they are posted on facebook so everyone there can see them! I said I think its way past time to send the boys home! Ahh...that's my husband...what can I say? He always tries to make people smile! He sure is something else....but I love him....don't know what I would do without him! Supposedly there is a video but they haven't gotten the upload to work yet so I am anxiously awaiting that!

We took the girls to a church fall festival...it was fun but really hot! The games were all a little big for them but they had free food and drinks and the girls loved playing in the pumpkin patch! We also went on a little hay rack ride which cracked me up! It was on like a little four wheeler trailer with hay bales and they drove you around this grass field....definitely wasn't a KS hay rack ride but what did I expect in Florida? We also took a ride on an old firetruck around the block...the girls enjoyed having the wind in their hair since it was soooo hot! The little girl is Olivia....she is the niece of a lady I work with. She's such a doll!!! They had such a fun time running around the pumpkins and picking them up! I tried getting a picture of all three of us but as you can see it didn't work out so well....they don't like sitting down long enough to do much of anything!

Halloween just wasn't quite the same without Joshua here but I HAD to carve my pumpkin....its a tradition..and I really love doing them so I made my sis in law Danelle sit down with me and carve one.....Kenna absolutely loved getting her hands dirty and pulling out the greasy grimey gooey gopher guts! (steves pumpkin carving song) Joslen on the other hand wanted NOTHING to do with it! Miss priss....she can't get her hands dirty lol..... Danelle had never done pumpkins like this and of course I told her it was "no big deal....easy!!!".....her hands didn't like me too much after we were done but I thought they turned out really cute! how depressing is this though.....the next day they were destroyed by the sun.....its not very forgiving to a carved pumpkin and the next day they were gone! all that hard work!

We didn't take the girls trick or treating....they're not old enough to care about it...actually they hate strangers so it probably would have been traumatic for them and they were sick....so we just kept them home! I bought them little Halloween shirts and they just ran around in that all day...I did go out with my sister in law and another friend Jenna, to "cowboys"! We had a REALLY good time....probably a little too much fun but it was much needed! I dressed up as a cowgirl...I know lame...but I had everything for it! It was easy and stress free!! well....I think that's about it for now........nothing else to exciting...Josh will be home in about 3 months! Wuhoo!!!!! Only about 7 more paychecks! I hope all is well with everyone! LOVE!

better....

Well today is better.....I'm sorry for all of you that read my angry words last night! I was on roll.....just one of those days...and I could no longer sit and let it brew inside....I know I have many people that will listen but it gets old for me to keep throwing my pity party so I can only imagine how old it gets for others to listen to my sad story about my husband being gone....I'm not the first and I won't be the last.....and a lot of the times it's "out of sight, out of mind" if I don't sit there and dwell on how sad I am and tell people how much of a struggle it really is every day...I tend to deal with it better....but it's easier to throw my pity party on here! You only CHOOSE to read this so if you listen (read) my angry words that's your fault lol :) I don't think I'm the only person....I donno maybe I am...but sometimes it helps to just get words out.....a lot of times I'll take a piece of paper out and write down everything I want to say to someone....then I'll take the paper rip it up and throw it away....they are generally words of anger that I REALLY don't wanna tell someone but I need to get out.....weird?...oh well...aren't we all?!.....well....I had planned on going to bed early but once again it is 11:50pm..weird same time as last night lol....maybe this is the beginning of a habit?!?! How many days do they say you have to repeat something until its a habit?? uh oh bloggers watch out Lenise is on a 2 night roll!!!! :) We shall see!!!.....OH..important info!..Josh finally messaged me...he had guard duty and didn't wake up early enough to call me before I would have been in bed....so he's SAFE and SOUND!....I know I should stop thinking of all the bad things that COULD of happened when I haven't talked to him when I'm supposed to but that is really really really really hard...anyhow that goes back to my "i hates" from last night...and we won't go down that road again...at least not tonight! :) Hope every one is well...LOVE!

P.S.....just wanted to add a few pics of Joshua...looks like lots of fun over there doesn't it???!!

This last photo is a "Where's Waldo?" only...."where's Joshua?"...I told him he was crazy for going in the middle of those people...see if you can find him!

another.....

another sleepless night.....ok probably not quite sleepless....it's 11:50pm.....and I will probably hit bed in an hour or so...hopefully less.....I'm patiently...okay not so patiently waiting for Joshua to call....he left yesterday to go to the "round top" for 7 days...I talked to him Monday morning and he said he should be able to call Tuesday night...well now we are 10 mins away from Wednesday morning and I'm still waiting.....waiting.....waiting...waiting...story of my life right now.....I know I know I have much to be happy for but right now I just don't want to be....I want to be sad...I want to complain...I want to be angry..and I want to whine that my husband has been gone for 8 months now and its not fair....and I hate it...I hate every moment that I share with the girls and he doesn't...I hate every morning when I wake up and get the girls out of bed and they give me a kiss and a hug and he's not there.....I hate going to bed every night without him...I hate shopping without him....I hate him missing out on little things...like Makenna crawling out of her crib twice last night...priceless moments that can never be replaced......I hate it I hate it...I hate it.....I hate that we will spend Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the girls' birthday, our anniversary, my birthday, etc etc etc with out him....I hate that every night I go to sleep praying that I will have a husband when I wake up.....I hate that I'm scared of what this stupid war will have done to him when he comes home.....I hate that some mornings I just wanna lay in bed and not get up for days......I just hate it.....I especially hate that I am surrounded by "him".....everything about his daily life is here.....so close but yet, he is so far away....and I hate that I sprayed his cologne tonight...my knees went weak...and the tears haven't stopped....