guess not

well....I guess my blogging wasn't habit forming lol.....dang...thought I was on a roll....life just gets in the way of my blogging sometimes...but I will pat myself on the back for being "better" about blogging.....better than I was before....well, what to update you on....still here...still surviving.....still waiting for Josh to get home! :) The whole household is on the mends...we all were infected with some kind of "bug" and finally after about 3 weeks I think we are on the end of it....my poor girls I felt so bad for them! They started out with the throwing up etc and it has now turned into a cold...Thank Goodness I only got the cold part of it! But I am happy to say we are almost over it! Josh is doing good. Ready to come home more than ever...I think I say that every time lol......

He will probably shoot me for posting these pics but I can't help myself...

it was one of the guy's birthdays and Josh decided to give him a little birthday "dance"....he now is known as "Big Janice" LOL!!!!! He can't say too much they are posted on facebook so everyone there can see them! I said I think its way past time to send the boys home! Ahh...that's my husband...what can I say? He always tries to make people smile! He sure is something else....but I love him....don't know what I would do without him! Supposedly there is a video but they haven't gotten the upload to work yet so I am anxiously awaiting that!

We took the girls to a church fall festival...it was fun but really hot! The games were all a little big for them but they had free food and drinks and the girls loved playing in the pumpkin patch! We also went on a little hay rack ride which cracked me up! It was on like a little four wheeler trailer with hay bales and they drove you around this grass field....definitely wasn't a KS hay rack ride but what did I expect in Florida? We also took a ride on an old firetruck around the block...the girls enjoyed having the wind in their hair since it was soooo hot! The little girl is Olivia....she is the niece of a lady I work with. She's such a doll!!! They had such a fun time running around the pumpkins and picking them up! I tried getting a picture of all three of us but as you can see it didn't work out so well....they don't like sitting down long enough to do much of anything!

Halloween just wasn't quite the same without Joshua here but I HAD to carve my pumpkin....its a tradition..and I really love doing them so I made my sis in law Danelle sit down with me and carve one.....Kenna absolutely loved getting her hands dirty and pulling out the greasy grimey gooey gopher guts! (steves pumpkin carving song) Joslen on the other hand wanted NOTHING to do with it! Miss priss....she can't get her hands dirty lol..... Danelle had never done pumpkins like this and of course I told her it was "no big deal....easy!!!".....her hands didn't like me too much after we were done but I thought they turned out really cute! how depressing is this though.....the next day they were destroyed by the sun.....its not very forgiving to a carved pumpkin and the next day they were gone! all that hard work!

We didn't take the girls trick or treating....they're not old enough to care about it...actually they hate strangers so it probably would have been traumatic for them and they were sick....so we just kept them home! I bought them little Halloween shirts and they just ran around in that all day...I did go out with my sister in law and another friend Jenna, to "cowboys"! We had a REALLY good time....probably a little too much fun but it was much needed! I dressed up as a cowgirl...I know lame...but I had everything for it! It was easy and stress free!! well....I think that's about it for now........nothing else to exciting...Josh will be home in about 3 months! Wuhoo!!!!! Only about 7 more paychecks! I hope all is well with everyone! LOVE!

better....

Well today is better.....I'm sorry for all of you that read my angry words last night! I was on roll.....just one of those days...and I could no longer sit and let it brew inside....I know I have many people that will listen but it gets old for me to keep throwing my pity party so I can only imagine how old it gets for others to listen to my sad story about my husband being gone....I'm not the first and I won't be the last.....and a lot of the times it's "out of sight, out of mind" if I don't sit there and dwell on how sad I am and tell people how much of a struggle it really is every day...I tend to deal with it better....but it's easier to throw my pity party on here! You only CHOOSE to read this so if you listen (read) my angry words that's your fault lol :) I don't think I'm the only person....I donno maybe I am...but sometimes it helps to just get words out.....a lot of times I'll take a piece of paper out and write down everything I want to say to someone....then I'll take the paper rip it up and throw it away....they are generally words of anger that I REALLY don't wanna tell someone but I need to get out.....weird?...oh well...aren't we all?!.....well....I had planned on going to bed early but once again it is 11:50pm..weird same time as last night lol....maybe this is the beginning of a habit?!?! How many days do they say you have to repeat something until its a habit?? uh oh bloggers watch out Lenise is on a 2 night roll!!!! :) We shall see!!!.....OH..important info!..Josh finally messaged me...he had guard duty and didn't wake up early enough to call me before I would have been in bed....so he's SAFE and SOUND!....I know I should stop thinking of all the bad things that COULD of happened when I haven't talked to him when I'm supposed to but that is really really really really hard...anyhow that goes back to my "i hates" from last night...and we won't go down that road again...at least not tonight! :) Hope every one is well...LOVE!

P.S.....just wanted to add a few pics of Joshua...looks like lots of fun over there doesn't it???!!

This last photo is a "Where's Waldo?" only...."where's Joshua?"...I told him he was crazy for going in the middle of those people...see if you can find him!

another.....

another sleepless night.....ok probably not quite sleepless....it's 11:50pm.....and I will probably hit bed in an hour or so...hopefully less.....I'm patiently...okay not so patiently waiting for Joshua to call....he left yesterday to go to the "round top" for 7 days...I talked to him Monday morning and he said he should be able to call Tuesday night...well now we are 10 mins away from Wednesday morning and I'm still waiting.....waiting.....waiting...waiting...story of my life right now.....I know I know I have much to be happy for but right now I just don't want to be....I want to be sad...I want to complain...I want to be angry..and I want to whine that my husband has been gone for 8 months now and its not fair....and I hate it...I hate every moment that I share with the girls and he doesn't...I hate every morning when I wake up and get the girls out of bed and they give me a kiss and a hug and he's not there.....I hate going to bed every night without him...I hate shopping without him....I hate him missing out on little things...like Makenna crawling out of her crib twice last night...priceless moments that can never be replaced......I hate it I hate it...I hate it.....I hate that we will spend Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, the girls' birthday, our anniversary, my birthday, etc etc etc with out him....I hate that every night I go to sleep praying that I will have a husband when I wake up.....I hate that I'm scared of what this stupid war will have done to him when he comes home.....I hate that some mornings I just wanna lay in bed and not get up for days......I just hate it.....I especially hate that I am surrounded by "him".....everything about his daily life is here.....so close but yet, he is so far away....and I hate that I sprayed his cologne tonight...my knees went weak...and the tears haven't stopped....

quick

Just a quick update...Yes I still need to post pictures from Kansas...I'll get around to it one day lol! We are all doing great.....Josh is by all means ready to come home but he's doing good.....The girls are amazing! Getting so big and doing so much....everyday its something new...they just amaze me! They have started counting....okay not really counting....in the "mommy" book it qualifies as counting...I say "one" and they say "two, theee" lol....its cute....I guess my whole telling them I'm gonna count and if your not ____ by 3 you're in trouble isn't going to work so well...They think its a game and they just look at me start shaking their head yes and smiling when I start to count...oh the fun to come! LOL...Florida is still HOT...I'm ready for some "cooler" weather!!! I miss fall so much! Leaves changing....windows open....jackets....*sigh* home sweet home.....but we'll be there soon enough! We are planning on moving back when Josh's deployment is over...and some exciting news for once.......We are planning our wedding! Right now we're looking at August 27th...I have to figure out how much everyone starting school is going to interfere with that date but we will see..I'm excited!!!! I've already started finding the things I want....not really for sure exactly what I want but I do know what I don't want when I see it...I'm so indecisive! I just need someone there to say okay this is how its gonna be! I'm sure we'll figure it out! Hope everyone is well!!! LOVES!

finally a start!

So, as I was spending endless minutes on facebook I decided "hey! now would be a good time to start updating your blog..." so here I am....12:19 am Florida time...I went to see "The time travelers wife" tonight...it was pretty good...a little confusing but I would maybe watch it again.....I just finished my glass of moscato wine (which I discovered on my trip to ks..details to come!) and now I'm blogging then off to bed.........so lets see...the last time I left off Joshua was about to come home! Oh how sometimes it seems like FOREVER ago and other times just yesterday....I was hoping to get everything updated tonight but I'm gonna just try for his leave vacation.....we'll see how long I am able to fight the sleepiness (just what I was hoping for) my glass of wine has brought upon me!

So, Joshua....yes.....after FINALLY waiting for what seemed like a million years it was finally time for him to come home...I was like a kid on Christmas Eve...worse!.....I could not wait to see him! We had a little rough start...I'll leave out details...I'll just say this....he finally arrived in Florida 4 hours after his original flight was supposed to get in and at an airport about 200 miles away instead of 15 miles away and his phone MIA....apparently the Indianapolis airport makes pretty strong drinks.....or so he says.....but how do you stay mad when you haven't seen your husband in months and hes leaving in a week for Afghanistan...I got over it quickly...but I have not forgotten! LOL.....

we had a great time when he was home....we were....complete.....as a family once again....sometimes it actually felt weird?!.....it was like oh yeah I forgot...I have to share a bed with you now....I have someone to help with the girls.....I actually have a husband.....what crazy emotions that week had for me!.....We did get a night alone which was

amazing......we went down and got a beachfront hotel...just the 2 of us...went to a nice seafood dinner.....Josh insisted that he NEEDED to buy a new fishing pole so we could go fish on the beach at night...so we made a stop at walmart....he promised it would be romantic! RIGHT!!! I politely (ok maybe not) declined and we finally decided on Mad Gab and then we headed for the hotel.....what a great feeling to wake up in the arms of the man I love! I had ALMOST forgotten what it was like! The next day his family met us down at the beach and we spent the day in the ocean.....

over the next few days we just spent family time....the girls LOVED having daddy home...we even got to spend Fathers Day with him! We were so happy we would get to celebrate one holiday with him this year....and what better than Fathers Day?! We truly are grateful to have him! The girls had painted a picture for him a couple days before and we also made imprints of their feet...the stuff I bought didn't work so well on their hands so feet it was!

we had a BBQ with close friends and family......it was nice to get to see everyone! another night we took everyone out to Boston Lobster Feast...ALL you can eat seafood...AMAZING! all I can....this is the lobster hat they gave Josh...normally its for birthday guests but our event was just as special so he got the hat!

I think the part that I loved most was just sitting back and watching the girls with Joshua....he is SUCH an amazing father....I honestly could not ask anymore of him.....the girls just love him....he is definitely already wrapped around their little fingers....you can't tell him that, of course! he can just make them laugh like no one else can...he brings a light out in their face that only their daddy could...it is truly amazing...he read a book to them every night....I just sat and watched....once again in awe......its just an amazing feeling.....I've already said it but once again...we were finally complete...... we got family pictures done...I was really happy with the way they turned out..... especially after the fight the girls put up! they wanted NO part of pictures! but I can't say too much! they are 1 1/2...what do you expect?!?! .........

finally the dreaded day came......it was time for him to leave.......it seemed like we had barely had 2 days with him and now he was gonna be gone again! he got dressed in his uniform...something I thought last July I had seen the last of.....at least in my household......goodbyes were said...tears cried...and off too the airport we went...I prayed to God they whole way their...."please God, just one more night....just let him stay home with me"......if anyone tells you prayers are never answered.....they are lying to you! My prayers were answered that night! We arrived to check into his flight.....my eyes bright with red from crying and the gentleman at the desk says "Your flight tonight has been delayed, which means you will miss your flight in Atlanta and that is the last flight of the night. We are seeing if we can get things changed but you may have a layover until morning" I was jumping for joy! Josh of course said "Look, I'm headed to Afghanistan and I NEED to be on a flight to Indiana." and I of course leaned over and whispered "I won't mind a BIT if he has to be laid over...do what you can to keep him! :)" Josh got on the phone with his command and started to explain there was nothing he could do...blah blah blah...ends up he was laid over till morning! It was bittersweet! Part of me was prepared...I had gotten myself ready to watch him leave....and I was by no means excited for ANOTHER goodbye....but even if it was 10 extra minutes.....I was TAKING every minute I could to spend with him .....we decided not to call his mom....instead we stopped and picked up donuts and candy and let Joshua walk in first.....she was shocked to say the least! we pigged out for a while and decided to head for bed.....the only thing with the lay over was it required an early wake up the next morning! Once again good byes were said...tears shed and off to the airport we headed.....this was it....I was not prepared and I was not ready.....I cried the whole way walking him in...Josh seemed to think since he had his ticket he didn't need to be early but turns out he was wrong....we were practically running to the security check in.....there was no time for a long goodbye.....a strong hug and kiss...a be careful...I love you...Miss you already....come home soon...was all time allowed....which in hindsight...was probably better.....I probably wouldn't have let go if I had time to hold on to him.......he was directed to the "express" lane for being in uniform and the security guy pointed us to the big glass windows so we could watch him go thru security....I stood there holding his dog tags tears streaming down my face and watched him, wishing it was just a dream waiting to wake up...a woman sitting in a chair beside us turned around..saw his uniform and turned back to me and said "I'll be praying for your boy...and for you"....what an amazing few words....all I could do was shake my head....try to smile and mutter a "thank you".....and then watch my husband walk away from me to an unknown fate....seeing him turn around and give me one last smile and wave was probably the hardest thing I've done in my life.....this is what I have now.....the last picture I've taken of my husband since June 25th 2009.....the last one until he comes home and is safe in my arms again......I'm waiting honey.....come home soon.......

the story doesn't end there!......I'm walking out with his dad to my car to head back home....figuring out the minutes I have left until he would call again.....my phone rings....Josh missed his flight! I stopped ready to turn around and run back into his arms but no such luck this time....they were putting him on another flight in a few minutes...he was just calling to let me know he'd be later and tell me how mad he was for missing his flight by 2 minutes...literally...you have to be there 10 minutes before your flight leaves to be able to board....it was 8 minutes before his flight when he called me....they wouldn't open the doors for him......I guess not everyone cares when a soldier needs to get on a plane......but he did eventually make it to Indiana....he was scheduled to leave the day he arrived for Afghanistan...he was pretty worried about the punishment he was going to get for being late.....but he was not given one......they ended up not leaving for another 3 days!.....

failed again....

okay okay okay....so YES once again I had promised to "try" and keep this up to date and once again I have failed.....lol....my 4 lonely followers are probably wondering why they decicded to follow me now! he he he! Sorry guys.....I won't "promise" once again that I will keep this up but hopefully when I get back to Florida I can stay on top of this......life just seems so cramped some times......it's very weird..seems like time is going by so slow and I haven nothing to keep me busy...but then when I look at things like these I say to myself "where has the time gone?" hmmm.......but I do have lots to share. My last blog was before Josh came home on leave and lots has happened since then....our week of "heaven" with our family "complete" even if it was just a week.....his goodbye......our trip to ks and now a month of ks! lots to say and lots of pictures.....I hate trying to upload pics on my moms computer....it's so slow so pics won't be up until I get back to florida...although at this point I'm wondering if I should just stay in KS! I forgot how great it is being "HOME"....funny, growing up I swore I would never come back to this place where everyone knew my business and now it's hard to go to a place that no one cares about your business.....which i suppose is bittersweet...no one knows me, no one knows my past, no pre-judgement....just me now....sometimes ya feel so.....hmm...lost i suppose....lost in the numbers...just another body walking around....driving to working...getting gas...buying groceries.....I often miss being able to "run into" someone when I go to the store....grass is always greener on the other side??? sometimes you just wanna go where everybody knows your name....LOVE!!!

isn't it grand!

Well got a wonderful phone call today...Josh called once again with "amazing news" from the army.....I have learned very quickly that news is generally not amazing at all when it comes from the army!!!!!!!! Josh was called back in January from inactive status......he was given orders saying he COULD NOT be recalled for more than 400 days....so he left Feb 22 which puts his 400 roughly around March 2010....we have been told up until this point that his orders COULD NOT be extended..400 days was it! They even were talking about bringing the IRR guys (ones like josh) home early so it didn't go past 400 days.....well guess what!!!! THE ARMY LIED AGAIN! They were told what is "possibly" going to happen is that the National Guard unit they are attached to will be extended and since they are attached they are extended right along with the unit.....his deployment now was supposed to be 9 months......the new orders say they can be extended until the END of 2010.....if this happens their 9 month deployment now becomes 18 MONTHS!!!!!!! Putting him home roughly January of 2011!!! 2011!!!! Isn't that ridiculous!!! I keep praying and hoping this does not happen....If it does it means he will be gone almost 2 years total since he left back in Feb......All I can think about is that the girls will be 3 at that time...talking..doing all kinds of things and he will miss out on it all....9 months I could handle but 18?!?!?!?! How do I deal with that?!? Thats DOUBLE what it was supposed to be....and heres the fun part...army always has a "fun part" with everything!! We may not know that he will be extended until the last month he is over there...or it could be now...in 2 months..6 months...when ever they feel the need to inform us that our husbands will be stuck in HELL for 9 more months...so we could be planning on him being home and the night before they say NOPE nevermind he's staying....Isn't that some BS!!!!! It just really angers me! Why do we need troops over there for 18 months?!?! The army CLAIMS to be sooo family friendly but how is that taking care of a family?! Why can't they go over for like 9-10 months then send new ppl?!?! I guarantee you would have MUCH happier people all around....It's just dumb dumb dumb....I don't understand it but what do you do? Sit here and wait I guess.........and pray.........well on a brighter not...1 1/2 days and he will be home for leave........can't wait! LOVE

just living

Tonight I decided I better post pics of the girls....they are growing soooo fast! Sometimes I just look at them and can't believe they are mine!!! TWINS! Never would have dreamed it in a million years!!! They are my world though and I can't imagine it with out both of them in it! They are now almost 17 months and sometimes I think they act like they are 17! They sure have developed personalities as they have gotten older! They do something new everyday..it's amazing to watch them grow.....I just sit and watch them and laugh......Miss Joslen here is.....Joslen...lol....she definitely has her own little attitude going on! LOL....hard to admit but I'm gonna have to say she is just like her mamma....I'm told I gave a pretty good "evil eye" when I was younger

and Joslen has that down pat! You tell her no, she walks over picks something up and throws it and does this little "ugh" yell.....or she smacks your hand or herself! Lord help me!!! She is so funny though...a little comedian...she does something bad looks and you says "uh oh" then wrinkles her nose up and starts laughing...she loves dancing....music comes on and she starts stomping her feet and clapping her hands......if you have ever seen Mickey Mouse Clubhouse (one of their favorites!!) they say "oooohhh toodles" on it....she repeats it and it is hilarious! she now has 12 teeth and 2 coming in! She eats soo much....some nights I honestly believe she eats more than I do!!! She is up to 24lbs now....she pretty petite though....she is so much fun...even with her attitude! Sometimes I say she should have been an only child! LOL

And Miss Makenna...she is my "good" girl....she is SUCH a big help already....you can ask her to go get anything or pick something up and she shakes her head "yes" and walks over and does what you ask...she will help pick up toys....she is definitely going to be "mommy's helper"...I can tell already she likes helping and she's a lot like daddy. She's much more laid back...just go with the flow...although every now and then she throws a little fit and shows her attitude....she "talks" a lot more than Joslen....she just starts jabbering gets her face and hands going like she's telling you this intense story! I love listening to her...her favorite word right now is "hi".....it's so cute! and everything is a "cah" right now...not sure if it's "cow" or "cat" sometimes it seems like she will add the "t" sound when she sees the cat outside..maybe its just me :) they both also say "beby"....her signature move though is trying to hide her smile....she turns her head and puckers her lips so she won't smile...it's hilarious! she doesn't have quite as many teeth as Joslen does....last I was ABLE to check she had 10 and a couple coming in...she puts up a big fight to look at them so I have given up! She is also a good eater....neither one of them are very picky..one thing she really loves though is ketchup! LOL she will eat plain ketchup with a fork! what is it with that and kids? I'd probably be in trouble with WIC if they knew I gave them ketchup but OH WELL!! She loves it...that and ranch dressing...I was eating pizza one day with ranch on my plate and she stuck her hand in it and ate it...she LOVED it....:) She is still a pound ahead of Joslen at 25 lbs...seems to be since birth it's always been 1 lb! Joslen has more of my short smaller genes and Kenna has Joshua's bigger taller genes...I can't wait to see what happens when they get older! They have really started in be aware of each other also....They look for each other if separated ...they hug each other...fight with each other! Kenna thinks it's funny to take things from Joslen to make her cry...shes an aggravater just like her daddy!! but they both are such wonderful girls.....I have been so blessed and lucky....I couldn't ask for better kids! It makes it a little easier having help too! Josh's mom Viv helps out so much! She's a life saver...I think it's only because of her that I have stayed sane! I just can't believe how fast they grow up! Well I best be going to bed.....midnight 30 AGAIN! Oh and 2 1/2 days and Josh will be here! WUHOOO!!!!!!!!!! LOVE!

silent rank

Well, decided to try and devote some time to my blog again...not making any promises but "a try" is better than nothing....I'm hoping to keep this updated with Josh being gone....just to keep everyone posted and for myself to have things "documented"....I read other blogs and I just sit in a trance reading post after post...it's amazing to me and I love reading the stories of others.......well where to begin with mine? Josh will be home in 5 days! YES! Finally 5 days! He will only be home for about a week but at this point I will take anything! We miss him so much...day to day life is just not the same without him....His deployment date is set for June 26th at this point...it could change..once again folks we are talking about the ARMY! It really honestly has not set in yet that he is going to go to Afghanistan....kind of one of those "it'll never happen to me..to us" things... It definitely has been a DAILY battle for me...I would love to lay in bed all day and sulk that my husband is gone but I have girls to take care of...a job to go to..bills to pay....the world really does not stop for you! That is a hard lesson to learn and live with.....only someone that is going thru a deployment or has gone thru a deployment can tell you what this is like...did I ever imagine it would be this hard...never!...only they can tell you what it feels like to see a couple walking down the street holding hands longing for "his" touch.....to watch a family enjoy a meal together at a restaurant and be jealous that you are sitting alone...without your husband there....to listen to wives talk about how they can't wait to "get away" from their husbands for the weekend and wish that yours wasn't far away...to listen to them talk about a fight and only dream that you could be fighting with your husband...yes at this point even a fight would be better than this.....only "they" know what it's like to wipe away the tears...put a smile on your face and a happy voice so everyone believes you are doing just fine....and maybe just so you believe you are doing fine.......it's very bittersweet....on one hand I just want him home, I go thru what I just described daily! I want to feel sorry for myself whine and complain..lay in bed and cry and then on the other hand I realize....God is good....He has a reason for this and I am thankful for everything I have been provided with...I have a husband that is fighting for our freedom...he is willing to give his life for others...so others can have a better life and not everyone can say that....so I stand proud and thankful....I wipe away my tears and smile because I AM OKAY.................my title "a silent rank life" is from a poem I found on the Internet....actually I saw it on a shirt in Ft. Benning GA one weekend I went to see Josh...if you could put army life in a nutshell...the poem does


The Silent Ranks
I wear no uniforms, no blues or Army greens.
But I am in the military in the ranks rarely seen.
I have no rank on my shoulders. Salutes I do not give.
But the military world is the place where I live.
I'm not in the chain of command, orders I do not get.
But my husband is the one who does, this I cannot forget.
I'm not the one who fires the weapon, who puts my life on the line.
but my job is just as tough. I'm the one that's left behind.
My husband is a patriot, a brave and prideful man
and the call to serve his country, not all can understand.
Behind the lines I see the things needed to keep this country free.
My husband makes the sacrifice, but so do our kids and me.
I love the man I married. Soldiering is his life.
But I stand among the silent ranks known as the Military Wife


[author unknown]

amazing.....one word sums it up...amazing.....this poem would have never meant anything to me before...I never knew what it was like! I was one of those people that if it didn't effect me I really wasn't worried about it! I know one good thing that has come from all of this is making myself a better person! I am definitely more aware of "everyone" else...its no longer just about me...I realized sometimes there are people who have it worse..I need to be thankful for what today brings because honestly we never know where tomorrow is going to take us....now here's the kicker ladies and gents....Josh technically hasn't even deployed yet!!!!! Yes he's been gone since Feb. but hes not in the midst of the fighting yet....he's still State side!!!...I don't have to worry about some random army guy knocking on my door telling me horrible news just yet...I don't have to wait for his call just to hear his voice and have relief knowing he is okay until he hangs up the phone and worry sets in again...I don't have to be sad for all the horrible things he has to see and do...that NO ONE should have to see or do.....none of that has even started yet.....I have a feeling that it's going to be a LONG 9 months....we will survive though....and we will be stronger because of it.....


wow...well....this blog was supposed to be about how our family was doing......but I guess that will have to wait until tomorrow! now you know how I am doing! It is now 1:30am and I am getting up at 8 for church....although I probably would have still been awake anyhow...haven't been sleeping well......having that reoccurring horrible dream.........army guy knocks on the door....I collapse in grief...and my life..our lives are forever changed...........horrible right?!! Yes, I know it is...but such is life........LOVE!

in the army now!

so just a little update on the latest news about Josh....as expected the army decided to change plans again....so March 30th Josh left for Indiana....he will be there until the end of June (at least) and then deploying for Afghanistan instead of Iraq. His deployment will "only" be 9 months...which is better than 12 or 15 like some so we are grateful for that. When this is all said and done if things stay on track he will be gone for a total of about 13 months....so we are ready for this to start and be over with!!!! We miss him terribly but are so proud of him! Please keep him and us in your prayers! We were lucky enough to be able to visit Ks for a couple of weeks. We are here now until the 11th. We are so happy to see everyone and can't wait to come back this summer. Hopefully it will be for a month or 2 but we don't know when we will be back for sure. We are at the armys mercy so it'll depend on what they do with Josh. Hurry up and wait! That's our motto for the army! LOVE!

the new year!

Warning! This blog is bound to be long considering Dec. was the last time I updated! I am WAY behind.....so where to begin.....Christmas was wonderful! We were up in Ks for a couple of weeks and it was wonderful to get to see my family...I miss them so much!!! The girls weren't really to "interested" in presents...They ripped a little of the paper and then moved on....although they love all their new toys and clothes....We came back to Florida and Jan 24th the girls celebrated their first birthday....I made a "barbie" cake...the one where you stick a doll in the middle...it was pretty cool but lots of work...next year I am buying the mold to do it! I hope to start the barbie cake as a tradition...our mom always made our cakes and I hope to do the same for my girls. They had a lot of fun playing in the cake. I stripped em down and let them have fun! It was a lot of fun...sometimes it seems like yesterday I was going in to have them and now they are 13 months! Josh and I celebrated our One Year Anniversary Jan. 27th.....what a long road! I hope there are many more ahead of us...we enjoyed a nice night out, going to dinner and then the movies....it was also on our one year that we received some really big news...NO we are not adding to the family (just yet).....the army decided they needed him back to go to Iraq. Josh had originally joined the army to be deployed only to get denied twice....we never thought he would get called back because of his medical condition (ulcerative colitis). So he was a little excited to be given the chance to go again. I had very mixed feelings....of course

I didn't want him being gone for so long and being in danger but I was excited for him because he had wanted it for so long...it was once in a lifetime chance to follow a dream and I couldn't be the reason he was held back....So Feb. 22 we dropped Josh of at Ft. Benning Ga and Feb 26 the doc gave him the option.....stay or go....we had talked about it before and decided if they gave him the option he was going....so he now is training to go to Iraq. I drove the 6 1/2 hours twice to spend the weekend with him in GA and then he was supposed to be moved to Mississsippi where we probably would not be allowed to see him....last minute the army (NO WAY) changed their minds and sent them (28 guys) to Starke, Florida....only 170 miles away from where we live!!! I was pretty excited! I followed their bus down to Florida from GA and spent the weekend with him. I got to know all of the guys and they are so nice. It makes me feels better knowing that they are close and will look out for eachother. They decided I am their new mascot! LOL....So here we are back in present time....I am up here at Camp Blanding for this weekend again. Next weekend all of us (his family and the girls) will be coming up again....will go up one more weekend after that and then March 30 he should be going to Mississippi for 3 or 4 days, then to Ft. Bliss Texas and then probably to Iraq...of course nothing in set in stone but thats what we know so far...we are hoping since he is deploying with a National Guard unit his deployment will only be 10 months or so...much better than 15! we'll keep our fingers crossed....well we are going to get something to eat...please keep us and especially Josh in your prayers! LOVE!!!! P.S. I hopefullly will be back in Ks for a couple of months over the summer....I can't wait!!!