12:45am and I am restless. I can not seem to turn my brain nor my body off. Also I am sure my 2 hour nap today did not help. I just feel as I'm missing...something...I feel as though God is speaking to me and yet I'm not hearing it. Maybe I should be praying instead of blogging? The thought crossed my mind yet I felt "moved" to start typing the sudden flow of words coming to my mind. Is it the battle of preschool or no preschool? Home school or public school? Finances? Finding our own place? Mostly what keeps coming to my mind is meeting someone new tomorrow. Although the biggest impact seems to be the fact that it's pure excitement. Not that long ago it would have been the complete opposite. Annoyance, shame, embarrassment, and regret probably would have been at the top of the list. Tomorrow I'm going over to my sister house to meet the wife of a couple that moved in close to sister
not too long ago. We met SH (I'm going to call the husband) when he and a friend who is a pastor of a church in JC came out to the house to offer support and whatever they could during dads sickness. They had met my uncle (who lives is Topeka) thru the church. I think it was something like sister churches or something. Anyhow, these 2 complete strangers came out to say they wanted us to know they would be praying for us and if they could help to let them know. Isn't God AMAZING? They were both great guys. If I remember correctly (my post tomorrow may strictly be correcting my mistakes) they both had left their home in Arkansas (one did then the other followed) because they felt called by God to JC Kansas! Isn't God AMAZING? SH (the husband) really seemed to fit in at our home. I think I remember sister saying he made the comment he felt like he was "back home" in our house. He shares
the same love of fishing and hunting as the hubby. He was just in awe of the gator hunting book I showed him of our Florida adventures. (I'll have to remember to post about gator hunting sometime!) The unfortunate part was hubby wasn't home. I just knew him and SH would hit it off. They had that same down home southern good ol' boy way about them. They fact that he was a CHRISTIAN man was even more of an added bonus. We have yet to SH and hubby together. We attended their church one evening and they of course had gone back home to visit. I have wanted to meet SW (the wife) for a long time so my sisters invitation for a play date was met with pure enthusiasm. I can only hope this is just the beginning to many more times of wonderful fellowship. I am excited to have someone else to share faith with! I am eager to learn more about her and her journey. I don't think the poor girl knows
what she has in store for her tomorrow! :) As I said before not that long ago this would not have been my normal response to having a play date with someone "churchy". Don't get me wrong, I grew up going to church but that was about the extent of my relationship with God. Before I would have been uncomfortable and annoyed, trying to pretend that I was a "follower" and a "good Christian" and knew about the Bible. And later would come the guilt, shame, and embarrassment that I was trying to be someone that I wasn't but knew that I should be. I knew I shouldn't have to "pretend", or act like I knew the Bible, but in all reality I had to. I can't say there was a time I ever DIDN'T believe there was a God, but I can say I never really KNEW God until recently. I remember growing up laughing at my cousin that was visiting for having his Bible and reading it every night. I forget now at this
point how many times he had read it front to back. Hindsight is 20/20 they say. If only I had known then that now I would be amazed at his faith. It wasn't until Dad got sick did I actively start seeking the Lord. It wasn't until then that I finally "felt" Him. It wasn't until then that when satan came knocking did I run to God instead of FROM God. Sorry satan, you are fighting a losing battle. No longer do I need your false truths to make me feel better. I found The Truth. It is a definite journey and I stumble and fall flat on my face OFTEN. But for once I can get up, dust my knees off, and know I am perfect in HIS sight. Isn't God AMAZING? A song came on the radio the other day and it just hit home. The chorus says:
Praise God we don't have to hide scars They just strengthen our wounds, and they soften our hearts.
They remind us of where we have been, but not who we are So praise God, praise God we don't have to hide scars
Isn't that beautiful!? Praise God we don't have to hide scars! Or past embarrassment or shame for "pretending" to be
like "churchy" people. I hope you have a wonderful Monday. Mine can't get any better then meeting another "churchy" person.